This Side of Sanityyour radical feminist lesbian bondage webzine |
Once there was a fellow who had just moved into a new house. His neighbor came to meet him that day and they got to talking.
“What kind of job do you have?”, asked the neighbor, and the fellow replied “I’m a Scientist of Deductive reasoning”.
“Deductive reasoning?”, asked the neighbor. “what’s that?”
“Well, let me give you an example”, the scientist replied. “I see you have a dog house in your back yard”.
“Yes”, the neighbor (whose name was Bill) replied.
“Well, by that I can deduce that you have a dog”, replied the scientist, whose name was Fred. “Yeah,” Bill said.
“And since you have a dog, I can assume that you have a family,” said Fred. Bill nodded.
“And since you have a family, I can assume that you’re married,” Fred continued. Bill continued to nod.
“Well, since you’re married, it’s safe to say that you probably have a wife”.
“Yes, I have a wife,” Bill replied.
“So, then, I can conclude that you are a heterosexual,” finished Fred, “and that is deductive reasoning”.
“Wow, that’s interesting,” said Bill. And so, the two went there ways for the day.
The next day, Bill was at his own work, and a co-worker said to him “I heard you have a new neighbour”. “Yes, I do”, said Bill. The co-worker replied “What kind of work does he do?”.
“He’s a Scientist in Deductive Reasoning,” replied Bill.
The co-worker asked “What’s deductive reasoning?”
“Allow me to give an example,” Bill said. “Do you have a doghouse?”
“No,” the co-worker said.
“FAG!”
It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.
—Chinese Proverb
Why softball is better than sex:
You can play softball as much or as little as you want; you get to decide.
After an unusually long and difficult softball game you can still ride your bike home.
In softball, the other team pays attention throughout, even if they’re done scoring.
In softball, you don’t feel guilty about winning the ugly ones.
The other team never has to forfeit a game cause they’re on their period.
In softball, you don’t have to compliment the other team on how good they look in their new uniforms.
You don’t have to buy the other team dinner to get a game.
In softball, you can play the same team every day for a year and it’s never the same twice.
You don’t mind if your parents come to watch you play softball.
You can play three, maybe four softball games a day.
In softball, it’s no concern of yours if the other team has had marital relations with diseased livestock.
In a good weekend of softball, you can play six or seven different teams and it only costs you twenty bucks and you may get a prize at the end.
Playing the wrong softball team won’t get you shot.
No matter how drunk the other team is they never throw up in your bed.
If you meet a woman at a women’s festival, there’s an excellent chance she’s a lesbian. But it’s not that way in the rest of our lives. Sometimes you meet a woman and you “think” she’s a lesbian, but you’re not really sure. So we have these little exchanges in code …
But an easier way to find out is to go to someone’s apartment, look inside her kitchen cabinet, and count how many Celestial Seasonings herbal teas she has. If there are more than six, she’s probably a lesbian.
—Sara Cytron and Harriet Malinowitz
Q. What can two femmes do in bed?
A. Each other’s makeup.
—Lea DeLaria
Submit any good jokes you’ve heard to contact00@ThisSideofSanity.com. Please indicate that you are making a “ThisSideofSanity Humor Submission” in the subject line.
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